Yes this is me " putting my whole life story on social media sites again" that being said I do have a support system but people have lives so I spend alot of my time in my own thoughts which kinda sucks. So my only way to vent is to blog about it.

My whole life has been full of curve balls and bumps in the road and I have been strong and able to get through each and everyone of them but this I am not so sure I can just be as strong this time. I feel like a piece of me is missing. My heart is broken. I busted my ass for two years to avoid this or these two things from happening. And now its happened and I don't know what to do how to I prepare for the next however long these things will take.......
I will not stop tho until this horrible kid is behind bars.

Oh my word with my car! Now dont get me wrong my car is all fixed and I am so happy for the awesome mechanic I had he taught me so much about my car I got to see where everything is under my car he showed me what happened and why it happened and quizzed me on what I will tell the shop that messed my car up. Which I got that down to a science so no worries there buuuuut I have to now go up there and get reimbursed for what they screwed up

I am so glad to be home!!!! It was nice don't get me wrong but I missed my baby and my man and my lovely mi family oh and my puppy!!!! Being gone for almost two weeks makes me very humbled and grateful for all the ones in my life who support me and are there for me! Glad my girl and I got to make up hope to visit her face later this week! My daughter was so good she was polite and very good. It was a great bonding experience for us both and boy did we miss our brayden. I seen a post and it made me think long and hard about certain things that have been weighing on my heart. Those things that have bothered me don't and shouldn't mean shit to me. One person isn't worth the worry or even thought but at the same time its shitty cuz I thought we were friends. But realizing you were never really friends isn't something that I have learned over night. I have awesome people that adore my kids and love and accept me for me. I don't know why I tend to worry about the ones who could careless. Oh well I am in good spirits and am so happy to be home. Nothing else should matter. I had a great mothers day that was spent with my mom and family and joels entire family. Ray and dan met and talked and became friends discussing union shit lol guess men will bond over anything.
I have so much to do now that I am home I have ti go to fia office oops dhs office and to vet with nala drop more money I don't have blahhh I also am hopefully starting a job if the position is open still. I will have to call in a few

Ahhhh so nothing else to do except blog for now got a few things to get off my mind.
Omg with the drama down here between my dad n brother its ridiculous and I am stuck in the middle its pretty lame but still in good spirits as far as that goes!

Now something that I find laughable is the fb delete I got lol good thing she did it before I had a chance too. I am so sick and tired of the retarded way this girl thinks. Your a shitty friend bro. Its not all about u . U look for reasons to be pissed and to dog me on fb like we are in hs or no middle school. Pick up a phone like a woman and tell Me what ur problem is. That's what a real friend does u don't just get to be rude and hurtful over two things I know of that I couldn't control. My kids come first whether its appts or t ball either way I didn't do anything wrong for the attitude and bs I have been given from you. But I am only blogging about it b.c unfortunately talking like women don't work! Oh wait that's right we never had issues before til u created them in your own mind. How dare you act like your better than me. And that ur some sort of great friend. How about inviting me more than the day its on or whatever. U show no interest in me or my life what so ever. I thought and considered u a close friend so this all of this is a slap In the face. But trust that this will be my last blog about this topic. I have no time to play middle school kid shit with anyone. Shit happens things come up holding a grudge and putting some dumb shit on fb is very much some bullshit. U don't care how u make others feel its all about how someone makes u feel. I tried to get close with her and it was only a matter of time before some dumb shit happens I knew it. I have no need to fight and argue with my friends. My real friends. Im over it.

So this has been a very odd beginning to my vacation. My car took a shit and just decided not to work anymore lol if u know me u know u would just have to laugh it off which is what I did. In a potentially extremely stressful situation I remained calm as did kevin so alyssa wouldn't get anymore scared. We did some problem solving and figured out a plan that is being executed beautifully :) I am now laying out in the gorgeous sun. Listening to the quietness, calmness and sounds of nature. This is where I shall remain for the remainder of this day. Tomorrow we head to the ATL BABY!!! LOL I can't wait to get there and see my aunt n uncle. Was so worried about not being able to get there. Wheew! Once we get there its smooth sailing stay two days come back to my brothers and enjoy another couple days :)

I am super excited lyss and I leave for Tennessee/Georgia in two days. I am sooo excited to see my family. And to just get away things are so stressful here. Appointments all the time non stop and not really having. Much help joel helps when he can but there's not much he can do & lyss wuz heree (;
Lol got hacked earlier ..
It will be nice to just clear my head. My fuse is short these days but people are just being weird about dumb shit and im just overwhelmed. U get what u give. I am not going to overly exert myself for someone who clearly don't attempt even a little about me my kids my life not so much as a comment yet all on fb just straight rudeness its uncalled for!!!!!! If you don't like me cool if you would rather be rude make comments and speak about me behind my back instead of telling me then fine by me. Im exhausted by real things in life. I don't have the energy in me to fight and argue about something so ridiculous. Grasping straws! Im over it you hurt my feelings more than once and not one time apologize but want to attempt to call me on being a bad friend.
Anyways.....like I said I can't wait to get away! :) all smiles tomorrow is Wednesday which Wednesdays are always busy but extra busy I cuz b has tee ball game awwwww n he n his team is sooo cute.

I hate how certain people love to judge your life based solely upon fb status. Its sickening to me. No things aren't perfect and no I definitely don't just sit around and do nothing all day just to avoid helping out someone whom I thought was my friend turns out it was a conditional friendship. It sucks b.c I really considered her one of my closest friends this year she and I have gotten close and over some things I wont repeat on here I don't even get acknowledge. Its sad and my feelings have been hurt b.c the person I turned to for advice and such has just dipped out and even more messed up refuses to tell me to my face why or what I did or why I deserve to just being a nobody to her. I mean don't get me wrong im not like down n out about this its just something that has been weighing on my heart a little. I don't ever try to hurt anyone ever and I try to help ppl when I can but if you don't talk to me and tell me why your mad then nothing gets resolved. I don't want or need drama . I don't ask ppl for help very often and all I need from my friends is every now ans then someone just to talk to. And I don't have that anymore with this person for reasons im not even sure of. Im sure she has a list of things but I can't apologize for something I don't know what I did. I take my friendships seriously. I don't have intentions on ever being shitty to people I don't ever try to do things to hurt ppls feelings and I will always own up to my mistakes but I have to be aware of them first. Also its a two way street. Friends need eachother all the time but if u don't ask people wont just offer. I love this girl like a sister I really do and it sucks cuz she wont even talk to me I think about her daily and her kids. I love being able to help ppl out and I will as long as my busy ass schedules don't conflict with it. Its sad that we don't talk so many times I have cried over shit I am going thru and not being able to pick up the phone and call her sucks. I guess I just needed to get this off my chest. I don't know if I should send an email but at this point I have tried to talk to her on fb and I just get ignored. What a shitty feeling that is but I can also understand how she feels alone dealing with her issues but don't push me out of your life I can help out its just certain days are soooo busy I can't even think straight. I have so much on my plate its hard to keep up. And to have noone to just cry too when things are so overwhelming is hard. I don't know I just wish she knew how upset I am over us not really being close anymore. I love her and her babies soooo much like consider them family. Even tho I am not able to be there to help as much I still would like to help in some way. I think of her often and I hope and have prayed that her health gets better and that maybe one day she will talk to me. I am afraid to send an email b.c I don't want there to be drama. I always have good intentions and whether she was able to see that or maybe she viewed it differently. I dont know but this is something that I really wish would get resolved. I miss her and the kids soooo much. Im not a hard ass I don't like hurting people but I am only human and I make mistakes and maybe my good intentions are over looked but honest to god I never meant to hurt her or make her feel I am not a good person or friend. She has helped and offered to do alot of things she didn't have to do but it almost feels like b.c I can't reciprocate it the same way that that makes me a bad friend. But the one and only reason I would appear to not care or be there is strictly b.c I have soooooo much going on that's all. Well I guess that's it I just needed to vent. I have started to send her an email but when I was being flat out ignored and proven that I don't mean shit to her my feelings became really hurt. I love hanging with her going to visit in the am seeing her kids that I love to death. I would love for them to spend the night here or just take em for a few hrs a day one day but she wont even talk to me:( and I feel like maybe I should email her but at the same time I have tried on fb and got completely ignored. So what does one do I mean im not going to chase her down maybe if she wants the friendship she will hit me up I doubt it but hopeful at the same time. We are going to the circus today and I thought of her n her babies but can't ask her b.c she wont speak to me. Sigh

Gosh I can't wait to go see my family. I need some contact with my brother other than over the phone
Its been a long time since I have been able to actually visit my aunt and uncle I think the last time I seen them was at my mamaws funeral :( sucks to visit under the circumstances but they are doing so good considering they should of died its an absolute miracle they are still alive. Lyss is coming with me and I couldn't be happier. Its some bonding time with just her and I . And my brother has a few choice words for his niece. Lol

Next Thursday I will be leaving to go visit my family in Tennessee and Georgia and I am bringing lyss with me. This is going to be awesome haven't seen them in a year now since my surgery super stoked! And lyss is soooo geeked gosh it couldn't get here any faster