Contradicting ones self.  

Posted by: Angel

The hardest thing time do is to look at your own wrong doings and acknowledge it. Then the need to correct it requires change. Change can be very scary but this last year I have done a lot of self reflection. I can sleep so much better at night knowing I'm a true person. I used to be afraid to speak my mind but all that does is give certain people the power to walk all over me. Or in this case play games. Mine games. Why do people insist on living a lie. Just to try to make your self look and appear something your not. Why make an attempt to come into someone's life after all that has happened and attempt to make amends when it is a lie. You have to hide it from others b c the drama isn't worth it but everyone deserves a person. ESP if the person capable of being your person has fantastical intentions with not a single shady motive.
That being said when it's a situation.that is unchangeable... I have learned just to charge it to the game! And shut that chapter completely. It's not worth it. The second you find that there is nothing positive that would out weigh all the negative then there isn't a single reason to give it anymore of your time or energy. Mentally you have to just let go. It's a sad situation that has done so much damage words thrown that cannot ever be forgotten or really forgiven. Saying it and doing it is where the contradicting comes in. Everything is easier said then done. There are times when you really miss that friendship even tho the outcome is always going to be the same we all have feelings and things and memories that make us wish so bad that certain things weRe done differently. life sucks in that sense. Biggest lessons are learned the hard way! The painful way. I'm the kind of person whom ppl really mistake me as a person who is naive and not very strong and not someone who is hard to lie too. Oh she will believe anything lol I kind of like it that way b.c when you underestimate my intelligence that only makes it so much easier on me:) I am aware I tell ppl info that they could use against me but being an open book works for me. I don't want to try to be something I'm not just so someone can't talk shit. Who cares what anyone thinks they don't live your life and have never walked a day in your shoes. And on that note I will end this.

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You know what honey I didn't tell my husband and kids because i didn't want they're emotions involved until i knew what was going to happen. I asked you to lunch so we could talk, offered to pick u up, I wanted us to sit down and speak before i involved my family's hearts again. I get it you had a rough week an couldn't. So go ahead an say what you like about me but your birthday was only 2 weeks ago, we have not even spoke on the phone, or seen each other in almost 10 months. An yes every one deserves a person an i have mine, an yes i do an always will care what my husband thinks, thats part of being married. As for any other person I could give 2 shits less what they think about me, my husband, or my life, they are not me, an don't know me there for cannot judge me. Thats fine you want this chapter closed for ever I will never again make any attempt to contact you.Please take care an know that i love you an will always have a place in my heart for you and your kids. Remember when you talk bad about me that i was your person tried an true for 5 years.

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